I cannot tell you how many times I heard these statements on my domestic abuse calendar from the wives and girlfriends of men who had just returned from war. Approximately 5-10 percent of my domestic abuse cases involved military personnel, a percentage that translated to hundreds of cases a year.

These men were in my courtroom because they had punched, or choked, or threatened to kill their wife or girlfriend. Often the domestic violence was very severe and almost always, the more tours of duty the men had served, the more severe the domestic abuse.

And usually, the domestic abuse began soon after the soldier鈥檚 return from war, frequently within a few days. What made these cases so unusual, and so tragic, was that time and time again, the wife or girlfriend would testify that their husband or boyfriend had never abused them before he went to war.

Many of these soldiers were young, often between 18 and 25 and perhaps most disturbing, many had very young children who were exposed to the domestic violence. Unlike most of the people who appeared before me in court, many of these soldiers would admit to the domestic violence. In the same breath, they would ask for help.

Help for what?

For the obvious trauma they had suffered in war. A disproportionate number of these men showed extreme anxiety, rigidity, and raw emotion in my courtroom. They would tap their hand or foot the entire time in court, sometimes for up to one hour. They would cry very easily, and often have a flat affect. Although I am not a therapist, it was crystal clear to me that these men had been traumatized and that they needed professional help and they needed it now.

I would try to identify available services, but there seemed to be a lack of coordination in terms of what was available. Whenever I could get them help, I would. Sadly, however, at the subsequent court review hearing, sometimes as long as one year later, the soldier would still be struggling with the effects of war. Usually, the diagnosis was post-traumatic stress disorder, or PTSD. And tragically, the psychiatrist鈥檚 report would note that it was likely that the soldier would be dealing with the disease for many years to come.

My primary concern on my domestic abuse calendar was to ensure the safety of the abused. So, I always held the batterer accountable, even if it appeared their war experience was a major factor in the domestic abuse. But I hurt for those soldiers, and I thanked every single one for their military service.

They are the walking wounded, not just physically, but emotionally. We must acknowledge their trauma and commit to meet our responsibility to help address it. These soldiers, and their families, deserve no less.

Retired Judge Michael Broderick stepped down from the bench on November 1, 2010 after presiding over more than 10,000 family court cases. He is now the President & CEO of the YMCA of Honolulu.

Related articles:

• My Participation in Healing the Trauma of War Program
• Hawaii’s War: National Guard, Reservists Face Hardships at Home

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