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Pop quiz for my fellow friends and readers: Are you feeling exhausted, no matter how much you sleep? Have you found yourself increasingly irritated with others or frustrated by ordinary things? Are you feeling less confident in your daily life? Are you noticing more feelings of anxiety or depression than usual?

If you said “yes” to any one of these, you’re not alone. Over the last few years, increasing numbers of Americans have reported these classic symptoms of stress and burnout. It’s not uncommon, particularly in periods of economic upheaval, to experience multiple downstream effects that are disruptive and can make you feel at times like the whole world is against you or shifting under your feet.

You might want to stay off social media for a little bit, or you might get sucked into some of the pseudo-religious or pseudo-psychological thought leader posts telling you that “God is testing you in this season” or “you feel unsettled because that’s your discernment telling you that you are surrounded by toxicity.”

In reality, everyone is going through a very tough time — not just the so-called “high vibration people” — and we have to be especially mindful of the individuals around us as we enter the holiday season when pressures from family commitments and unrealistic expectations can push people to the brink.

Be Accountable To Those Around You

Most people think being accountable for those around them in the context of mental health means suicide prevention. And while that is certainly an important thing to be alert about, what we really need to be cognizant of are the pressures and situations facing people around us, and how we can support them so they don’t get to the point where they’re in such a bad place that an emergency intervention is needed.

People have criticized me for saying things like we need to be good to each other and find more ways to support each other. “What kind of solution is that?” some may ask. Well, people who are stressed out, burned out or in a condition of emotional distress affect the community around them by making impaired decisions and . That creates more situations that others then have to deal with. 

No system of government will work for people who do not take initiative to help each other. No social welfare can reach the person next to you faster than you. In times like this, all of us need to be momentary social workers, caregivers and counselors as situations and needs arise in the lives of those around us.

An accountability-free society where no one helps each other often leads to chaos. This is why  in a positive way tend to be more successful in combating crime and drug use and are more resilient when disasters come. By contrast, when you’re isolated from the people next to you, when you don’t know your neighbors and when no one is looking out, that’s when the trouble comes.

Hawaii has long been known for the aloha spirit of showing deference to each other and helping one another out, but I think this holiday season we need a refresher and a reminder to help the community and the people around us.

Be An Available Citizen

All of us need to be observant of the people around us. Little things can reveal a lot. In some cases, you might be the first person to notice that someone is the victim of domestic abuse. Another person may be contemplating self-harm. Others may be experiencing periods of prolonged stress or burnout. Whatever that situation will be, it’s important that you show humanity to the people you come in contact with  to the people around you.

It works like this: If I make your day easier, maybe that means you’ll be a safer driver on H-1 and you won’t cause an accident that hurts you or someone else. Or maybe it means you’ll be better at your job today, which means that your coworkers also have a good day, and they’ll perform better than normal and treat other people they encounter better, and so on. 

Or maybe it means you might get just the intervention necessary to do more of the things you should be doing and fewer of the things that are bad for you. Recent research shows that , where people who purposefully act in  resulted in more people modeling after their good behavior. 

One of the things that worries me about recent trends is that people have this mindset that if adversity emerges, we should just quit, walk away and full stop. This idea that difficulty means go somewhere else instead is not an unreasonable conclusion if we are living in an unaccountable society where no one looks out for you and everyone is only interested in financial rewards. Resilience as a community comes not from government planning but from citizen availability to support one another as a fabric of life.

In Hawaii right now, a lot of people are on the verge of quitting doing good things — not just in government — who need to be encouraged to keep doing good by others being good to them. By making ourselves accountable to helping support other people, we can prepare our community for any kind of hardship, difficulty or challenge. But the more we are left alone and forced to fend for ourselves, the weaker our private and public spheres will be.

So this week: Be observant of those around you. Don’t be afraid to ask someone if they need help, and don’t be afraid to give unsolicited kindness. Make it a point to tell someone you value their life, and show you value it by backing them up in a meaningful way. And if someone has been good to you, whatever you do,  in your life because you will need them in the days and months to come.

Bottom line? Aloha isn’t some brand we wear on clothing or a Hawaiian term we use to sound philosophical in a conversation. It’s about caring and taking responsibility for the life around us. Let’s watch the men and women around us for needs that we can meet, and we’ll have a stronger community and better government.