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Over the years I’ve dressed up as a “Mental Health Advocate.” But September was Suicide Prevention Month, and despite losing two cousins to suicide, my opportunity to amplify it vanished.

Then in October, I was startled to learn (too late) that oct. 10 is International Mental Health Day. My advocacy, again, was DOA. 

How could I be a ghost during this terrifying moment in humanity — when authenticity, connection, and compassion is so sorely needed?

But where to start?

World affairs? Gruesome! National politics? Revolting!  State government? Beware! 

Local dramas? Grim! Family dynamics? Macabre! Each one’s own private, inner-space? Chilling! 

I fear I’m not alone: secretly gorging on harmful “treats”; tampering with the monsters of our minds; concealing our pain with candied shells — all to avoid what we don’t have time, energy, or wherewithal to manage.

Yet, we’re haunted by death, illness, injury, divorce, moving, and job loss (life’s most stressful events); but these are things we can count (ah-ah-ah) on happening to us in some ghastly form or another. Through a web of culture, upbringing, circumstance, or belief, we struggle to cultivate the resilience we need to get through — and grow from — dark and scary times.

Instead, we put on superhero masks and stuff painful emotions deep inside, far from where they can distract and debilitate us from executing our “responsibilities” — be them real, conditioned, or imagined.

We’ve been tricked into believing our whole character depends on our ability to “Save the Day!” We masquerade to the world that we’re holding it all down — just fine. As if competing in a costume contest, we hustle and flex for hearts and likes on social media to prove it.

Disguised and identified with our “character,” we grow more fearful of exposing to others — and ourselves — just how vulnerable we are.

So we wrap ourselves up like mummies to hide our truths; binding and crippling ourselves with unseen shame. Fearing stigma, we delude our own damned selves.

This is not to suggest we replace the cobwebs of our cognition with more self-sabotage. If, through the darkness, we muster the courage to seek truth from the mirror, mirror on the wall; what we see is not a Bloody Mary, but rather, stark realities that require self-compassion.

Many of us are looked to as a safe house; home base and backstop for our families, at work, and/or in our communities. Bills pile up. Kids need to eat. Deals need to close. Reports must be filed.

Vexed by fear of failure, we feel forced into making impossible choices. To avoid seeming selfish, we often prioritize others; and in doing so, we bury the critical time and space we need to heal after wearing such heavy, constricting outfits.

Don’t Be Zombie

To give earthly form to our potential, we must engage in intense emotional labor to process and manage difficult feelings.

But it’s Halloween, and who has time for that? There are so many tempting potions, poisons, witches’ brews, and fairy dust to numb us, like zombies, from the pain.

Our dependence on these elixirs is hardly paranormal.

According to the , 50% of Hawaii residents suffer from a chronic mental health issue such as anxiety, trauma, or depression; with depression being the No. 1 behavioral health disability in the country. 

But at what cost? Our bodies, minds, and communities pay the price — which is just murder on our public health and criminal justice systems.

But healing is hard work; almost supernatural. It’s far easier to hide under a sheet than to levitate to higher ground; more fun to raid the dregs of our treat bags … only to wake up with hard-to-kick addictions, destroyed relationships, decreased productivity, damaged finances, debilitating physical and mental symptoms, and a sense of being trapped — silently and alone.

We can’t wear our masks, indefinitely, without breaking down. Untreated symptoms lead to invasive and expensive treatments, complicating medications, and hospitalizations. Many suffer increased risk of suicide — the worst of spells.

When things get dark, give yourself grace.  can be positive. Like a wolf howling at the moon, your primal cries are there to protect you, warn you, teaching you to get help. You are in the best position to stop the creep of internal and interpersonal destruction.

Why? Because hurt people hurt people. Without self-reflection, we can turn wicked-inflicting emotional or physical harm on others; spinning out more webs of trauma, hurt, blame, and disorder.

Finally — friendship, family, community and neighborliness are just as important! Take heed from the Psychologists:  is cruel — like a creepy clown.

So please turn on your lights, to let others know it’s safe to take off their masks. Because to be seen and accepted by others is a true treat.