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Last Friday, I was cruising down the Kawaihae Road regaling my wife with stories from a meeting I had that morning with Boots Lupenui, the artist and documentarian. 

Boots and I had been swapping moʻolelo (traditional stories) ahead of in Waimea at the Kahilu Theater this coming Friday.

Boots told me two incredible stories that I had to share with my wife. I was doing my best to do the stories justice. Boots is an amazing storyteller. 

The sun was shining and we were laughing as we headed to the beach. It was Aloha Friday in the best way possible.

And the best thing about being full of aloha is the desire to share aloha with others. Aloha aku, aloha mai. 

In Hawaii, the easiest way to practice aloha is through small acts of kindness, a shaka, a smile or giving a little space. 

On that drive down to the beach, I was on the lookout for ways to share aloha. 

As I came to the intersection of the Queen Kaahumanu Highway I saw there was a backup in the left turn lane. I did a quick check of the rearview mirror and waved the white luxury SUV to make their turn ahead of me. The car didn’t budge, so I checked the mirrors and oncoming traffic again. The way was clear so I waved more emphatically. 

Then the white SUV blared his horn.

Now, in Hawaii, you donʻt honk. The cautionary tale is that you might be honking at your best friend’s mother, your auntie or in this case, a columnist in search of a hook. 

At the , Marcella Rezentes said that for people born and raised in Hawaii the Aloha Spirit is important. If Rezentes lets in an uncle, but someone behind honks.

“Now look, you don’t want me to put it in park and come back there,” said Rezentes on the podcast. “It’s not going to be pretty.”

It wasn’t pretty.

I pulled across onto Queen Kaahumanu Highway and he lowered his window. He was wearing a ball cap with the logo of a prominent nearby resort and his vehicle had the sticker on the windshield that would let him be waved past the guardhouse. 

I said to him: “I was just trying to help you (and the people backed up behind you.)”

He yelled at me, “You got to follow the rules!”

I, with my aloha suddenly drained, yelled back.

“That’s not how aloha works, braddah!”

I drove away and the situation didnʻt blow up into of the Ali Wong-Steve Yuen series “Beef.” Instead it was the more low-grade stewing of a “Curb Your Enthusiasm” episode.

In an effort to be compassionate, I can try to be sympathetic: I didn’t know what kind of day (or life) he was having. And, I suspect where he’s originally from, he’s totally right. And yes, traffic rules exist to keep everyone safe. 

In my town of Waimea, and many other places in Hawaii, when traffic gets choked, slowing down to let in another car is a small act of kindness and also an easy way to feel good about where we live and what our values are. It’s saying to a stranger, I see you, I see your situation, you go first. Community ahead of individual.

The SUV driver may also not have been aware that aloha is the literal law of the land in Hawaii.

Indeed, recently clashed with the U.S. Constitutionʻs Second Amendment.

Adopted in 1986, reads: “Aloha Spirit” is the coordination of mind and heart within each person. It brings each person to the self. Each person must think and emote good feelings to others. In the contemplation and presence of the life force, “Aloha,” the following unuhi laula loa (from Aunty Pilahi Paki) may be used:

• “Akahai,” meaning kindness to be expressed with tenderness;
• “Lokahi,” meaning unity, to be expressed with harmony;
• “Oluolu,” meaning agreeable, to be expressed with pleasantness;
• “Haahaa,” meaning humility, to be expressed with modesty;
• “Ahonui,” meaning patience, to be expressed with perseverance.

More importantly, aloha needs to be expressed not only on our roads, but also in our conference rooms and all places of decision-making, like the State Capitol. Disappointingly, our legislative leaders, especially the members of the Senate Higher Education Committee, did not perpetuate aloha.

They honked. They honked loudly and repeatedly. I admire Alapaki Nahale-a for fighting for aloha-driven leadership when others would have capitulated and not exposed the brokenness of the system.

We give, and more importantly, accept aloha because it makes us all feel good. And since we all live on islands here, it helps us get along.

I recently wrote about locals being happier on the mainland, and one of the reasons cited was the ebbing of aloha in Hawaii. 

Sadly, the fight for Hawaiiʻs soul has its frontlines, like in this case, the junction of the Kawaihae Road and Queen Kaahumanu Highway. 

There’s a fight for the soul of our island home. It’s a fight over three five-letter words: Money, Rules and Aloha. 

Which one has the greatest value? 

Actions of aloha are more important than the rules of the road in Hawaii. We canʻt lose sight of that. Aloha aku, aloha mai.