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Statistics show that Hawaii’s senior citizen population is growing three times faster than the rest of the populace. With so many of us soon to dominate Hawaii’s landscape, I think it’s important to re-examine the stage of life so many of us have entered or are about to enter.

In particular, I think we need to take a hard look at the R word we’ve been using to describe it.

As a newly unemployed (by choice) senior citizen, I’ve found it difficult to use the traditional R word to explain my newfound status. Given my situation, I know the accepted and expected description should be, “I’m retired.”

But I’m having a really difficult time saying those words. It sounds like I’m… I don’t know, on the way out.

‘Retired’ Defined

To see if my interpretation of the R word was an unwarranted misperception on my part I decided to google it; and found my suspicions confirmed. The actual definition of retired is: “Withdrawn, removed, obsolete. No longer valid.”

Yuck!

For myself, and I’m sure for many fellow seniors, those words aren’t close to describing how we feel, either physically, mentally or any other way. Even when our physical capabilities have diminished after multiple decades of living, the mind and spirit can be much younger than what our muscles, bones and organs reflect. An experience with my mother was a prime example of that.

A Revelation In The Mirror

Several years ago I was escorting mom out of the Royal Garden Chinese restaurant after celebrating her 95th birthday. We were among the last to leave after everyone had stopped by her table to say their goodbyes

As I was leading her toward the door she suddenly stopped, and remarked loudly, “Who da hell dat ol’ lady?”

I couldn’t imagine what she meant but I looked up and understood immediately. In front of us was a ghoulish-looking woman with an incredibly wrinkled face staring at us. A jet-black wig perched too far forward on her head as she peered beneath it while her bony shoulders supported an overly large outfit draped loosely over her thin frame. She had one hand on a cane and another on my arm.

I thought the restaurant had put up a carnival funhouse mirror as a joke. But it wasn’t.

Maybe it was a combination of the garish fluorescent lights or the copious amounts of alcohol and rich overly seasoned Chinese food affecting our vision. But the woman in the mirror was not the same one I knew in my mind and obviously not in my mom’s either.

The woman we knew had just been talking and laughing with her guests all night, telling racy jokes to her conservative friends, and making sharp witty comments. But that was not the woman we saw in front of us. That woman looked ancient. She was right — “Who da hell was dat ol’ lady?”

Her physical manifestation was reflected in the mirror, but definitely not the spirit within her.

That was a prime example for me as to how our mind and spirit don’t always age chronologically with our body. So, while my mother was undeniably 95 years old, her essence was easily fifty years younger. Which I think is true for many of us kupuna.

Some New R Words

If you’re like me, and the R word doesn’t fit your current situation in life, I propose trying the following replacements:

• Revitalizing: Imbue with new life and vitality.
• Renewing: Resume after an interruption.
• Rebooting: Begin again with a fresh start. To produce a distinctly new version.

While retirement implies a static condition, these new R words indicate movement and a new beginning.

Personally, I’ve used this new phase of my life to explore new avenues of creativity; publishing my first book, taking singing and guitar lessons, and seeing if I can produce an edible meal in 30 minutes like the “Chopped” cooking show.

I’ve also dragged myself to the ocean to swim and torture my body attempting pilates (definitely not just a chick thing). My wife and I are even rebooting the romantic side of our relationship, the details of which can’t be shared given the family nature of this publication.

There’s lots of other R alternatives so check them out if these don’t fit.

Who knows, maybe someday soon at a last-day-of-work party we might see a banner with “Happy Rebooting” on it.

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