Editor’s Note: This is another installment in our occasional series on bullying in Hawaii schools. Read previous coverage here.

The fan blades spun round on the bedroom ceiling with a metallic whomp, whomp, whomp. Matt sat in the corner of his room, staring aimlessly and fiddling with his neon shoestrings.

He wondered what his science teacher would say about missing class for the second time this week, but didn’t really care.

What bothered him more was having to quit the track team junior year. Why did those guys have to suck at life?

He told himself their stupid “no-homo” jokes at lunch and lewd remarks about the way he talks didn’t bother him, but here he was at home after ditching school again.

It can be hard to be gay in Hawaii, especially for teens like Matt, whose real name was changed to protect his identity.

Some have found ways to cope with the peer pressure to conform, but the vast majority still struggle to be who they are in a world that expects everyone to fit into categorical boxes of society’s stereotypes. Girls date boys. Boys date girls. Girls have long hair and dream of marriage. Boys have short hair and play the field.

Fortunately, places like Farrington High School and social workers like Alison Colby have helped improve the environment for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender and questioning youth in the Aloha State, where bullies harass one of every seven students they think might be gay. There’s also an ever-increasing number of safe havens and educational awareness events, with more programs and support groups en route.

Recent studies show positive trends developing across the country, but the statistics remain staggering. Consider these findings from GLSEN’s that was released last week:

  • Less than a fifth of students reported that school personnel frequently intervened when hearing homophobic or negative remarks about gender expression.

  • Nearly three quarters of LGBT students heard homophobic or sexist remarks often or frequently at school.

  • More than half of students heard homophobic remarks from school personnel.

  • 64 percent felt unsafe because of their sexual orientation and 30 percent skipped a class for this reason at least once in the past month.

  • 82 percent were verbally harassed and 38 percent were physically harassed in the past year because of their sexual orientation.

Nick Aiello, a behavior health specialist who divides his time between a couple windward Oahu schools, is working to establish an accredited chapter of the . He expects to know in October whether the application was accepted.

GLSEN is a national organization that offers research and resources to help schools become more inclusive of LGBT youth.

“We really want to make sure there’s teachers who will stand up and say I will intervene and I’m going to have a safe zone in my classroom,” he said. “If not, and these kids are struggling with these issues on their own, they isolate.”

Aiello said one person — could be a fellow student, teacher or parent — has a lot of power.

“If there’s not that person that steps in to change those thinking patterns, then the student is like, ‘Shoots, nobody cares if I’m getting bullied or called a name,'” he said. “And the inaction can be so damaging if the student doesn’t learn to say, ‘Yeah, I’m not crazy. I’m not a freak.'”

Supporting LGBT youth also helps society at large, Aiello said.

“If those kids have a greater sense of self-worth, they’re going to be making better life decisions — not engaging in risky drug behavior or unprotected sex,” he said.

In Hawaii, a teen is more than twice as likely to attempt suicide as a teen elsewhere in the country, with gay kids at particularly high risk. In 2009, there were 27 deaths by suicide here between the ages of 12 and 24, according to a .

Aiello said Hawaii has lost too many kids, but he is hopeful that a steadily growing multi-pronged effort will change things for the better.

“There’s a lot of very passionate people that are fighting for the cause and fighting for these kids so they don’t get lost in the mix and become a statistic,” he said. “We want to do as much as we can to make sure all the LGBT youth in Hawaii feel supported, feel safe, don’t feel excluded, can access their education, feel safe in their communities.”

A 2009 found that one in seven Hawaii kids had been harassed because someone thought they were gay, lesbian or bisexual in the last year.

For too long, Aiello said it’s been an option to ignore the issue. He said anti-gay bullying needs to be addressed administratively to change the culture so everyone knows it won’t be tolerated.

Hawaii kids are also finding support in networks.

GSAs are student clubs that work to boost the climate for all students by promoting acceptance and tolerance. More GSA clubs are popping up in schools throughout Hawaii, but far from a majority have them. Aiello said it can be hard to get them going because a student has to initiate it.

A dozen or more GSA club members at Farrington High School — which has become a model for promoting a healthy environment for LGBT youth — met on a recent Friday afternoon to support each other and participate in a talk guided by a third-year University of Hawaii law student. The discussion focused on how social norms create feelings of being broken among LGBTQ students.

Afterward, several of the students hung out to eat and talk story. They said the way they get bullied now is different than middle school, in terms of being less severe and not really physical, but remains a problem.

A junior student said she finds a lot of support through friends in the GSA club and now tries to convince others to quit saying things like, “That’s so gay.”

A sophomore said he struggled after coming out, but has just gotten used to the stares.

A freshman said she worries more about whether some kids think of her differently after seeing her hold hands with a girlfriend, but has learned to blow off anti-gay comments.

The students said media has helped break down stereotypes through shows like Modern Family, Glee, and Will and Grace.

Colby, the Farrington High School social worker who coordinates the meetings, said she feels fewer students are bullied for being gay today than 10 years ago but she remains wary.

“We try to help the school be more inclusive by teaching staff and students what they should do if they encounter bullying,” she said.

Aside from the resurgence of Farrington’s GSA club last year, Colby highlighted successes like securing grants for LGBT programs and an “Out in the Silence” award for a student-led program called Going Loud.

is an acclaimed documentary directed by former Hawaii resident Dean Hamer. The school showed the film at the day-long Going Loud event last October, which included guest speaker Sabrina McKenna, an openly gay Hawaii Supreme Court justice.

“Hopefully, the Farrington model can be emulated in other schools,” Aiello said.

Outside the classroom, nonprofits and community members are stepping up to spread awareness and share resources to help LGBT youth.

Antonia Alvarez coordinates Mental Health America-Hawaii’s Stop Youth Suicide and Bullying Project, which has trained more than 10,000 youths and adults since 2009. A helped her start a new empowerment group for LBTQ girls, ages 13 to 22, called Aiwahine Circle.

Another strong advocate is Jo Chang, co-founder with Susie Roth of an informal support group for parents called Da Moms. Her latest endeavor is a project called Building A Safety Net for LGBT Youth, which entails working with service providers and educators statewide to help them become more understanding and knowledgable about gender identity and related issues.

“It starts at the home, so we’re working to educate the community more generally to create safe families,” Chang said. “It’s everyone’s kuleana.”

She said it’s important to help people understand the potentially harmful effects their words can have.

The found that fewer students are bullying kids by calling them “faggots” or “dykes.” Instead, they’re using “gay” or new phrases like “no homo.” (For example, “I like your skinny jeans, no homo,” which translates as, “I like your skinny jeans, but just to be clear, I’m not gay.”)

“You never know if you’re being inadvertently hurtful or not,” Chang said. “If people could see the interrelatedness of it all and accept it as something they can do a positive thing for I think there would be people who would do more and make more of an effort. Reconsider the jokes we laugh at, the things we encourage.”

She said it’s a good thing the issue is being talked about more.

“There’s such a common misunderstanding in our society about this issue,” Chang said. “We need to make it a normal issue, take away some of the fear. It’s such a high-risk youth population.”

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