Re-Homed & Off the Edge: What does a Standing Ovation Feel Like?

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Reading time: 5 minutes.

Well, now I know. It鈥檚 both moving and awkward at the same time. It didn鈥檛 help that I was already set to bawl my eyes out, so when that happened I couldn鈥檛 stop myself.

The circumstance was having been invited to speak at the annual Statewide Homeless Awareness Conference in Waikiki. One of the organizers (Thanks Holly!!!) had been reading this blog, and decided to invite me to speak of my experiences to the roughly 250-300 people in attendance. Pretty much all the large service providers, and more, attend to listen to updates and new ideas in their struggles with homeless issues. There were even people in attendance with past and still current homeless issues they were dealing with. To me this was both moving and even scarier to speak in front of them.

As with starting this blog, the prospect of speaking to a public about my life in duress strikes as an odd combination of wanting to help but also wanting to hibernate in silence. But I can鈥檛 help escape my nature of being a stubborn optimist and so I always help.

And this was no short 10-15 minute speech. They gave me a 45 minute slot. That鈥檚 a lot of thoughts to share. But I did it, and I think I spoke for almost 40 minutes. If you鈥檙e interested you can read the full written version of the speech . Naturally the spoken version included some slight changes in wording and emphasis, mostly because I was getting kind of emotional and would lose my place a bit. But I had the content deep within so I managed my way through it alright.

But back to the standing ovation. It just so happened that I鈥檝e been feeling quite a bit of heartbreak over some personal issues in the week building up to the speech. I haven鈥檛 been able to eat so much and even my sleep has been interrupted. I鈥檓 sure you can all remember that I鈥檝e written about homeless having a broken heart as one root of their circumstances. And in crafting the final components of what I wanted to share, that sense of heartbreak felt really important to express. So I can only guess that the very immediate feeling of heartbreak came through clearly enough.

There were a couple of times during the speech that I got kind of choked up. Definitely by the end when I exhorted everyone to not be afraid of a world in pain, I started to lose it. I quickly gathered my notes and stepped off the stage into the arms of Holly and started to cry a bit. She then whispered into my ear to turn around and look and that鈥檚 when I saw the standing ovation. Yup, I lost it at that point. I had to turn around and hide my face for a moment. Like I said, it was both moving and awkward.

Several hugs later and many tears shared, and the day was done. I still don鈥檛 feel like I can speak to all of the homelessness issues out there. And there are those who were, and continue to be, in far more dire straits than I was. But I think everyone got the message: just keep caring. They鈥檙e already doing the hard work by showing up, so I hope they keep their sense of inspiration for why they do the work.

Success in life doesn鈥檛 exclude us from feeling intensely, or from feeling low. We still have to process things in human terms and do the best we can with what we鈥檝e got. I鈥檓 both grateful and relieved to have shared so much on Tuesday afternoon. I just hope the words ring true enough for a little while longer.

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About the Author

  • Joe Bright
    Joe Bright
    Joe Bright is a graduate of Iolani School and went on to study art at The Cooper Union School of Art in New York City, and later Chinese medicine at The American College of Traditional Chinese Medicine in San Francisco. Joe currently runs a small acupuncture clinic, Kama鈥檃ina Acupuncture in Kapahulu as the first dedicated low-cost 鈥渃ommunity acupuncture鈥 clinic in Honolulu. Joe has a varied background that has included working as a bicycle mechanic, freelance artist, teaching calligraphy and Tai Chi, a nanny, and even a CEO of a small entrepreneurial company. He continues to create art, even having work recently appear at the Honolulu Academy of Arts as well the Bishop Museum. He also continues with entrepreneurial projects when possible and serves on the Board of Directors for a local Buddhist meditation organization, Vipassana Hawai鈥檌.
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