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So today is my birthday. I won’t tell you how young I am, but suffice to say that I feel like there is some beginning balance to my relative age and knowledge base. Its almost like I’m kind of the age range where I’m supposed to know something about the world. Which is good since in the clinic people come see me expecting some help with their life challenges.

So given the current un-homed times of late I decided to save up some pennies and try to treat myself for a couple of days. And I did it! Here I am on the 20th floor over-looking the Ala Wai on the cheaper side of Waikiki. I was supposed to be on the 7th floor but one person said I could check in early. But when I arrived just after noon they said I was too early. Hmmm, not good. Fortunately it only took a few minutes to persuade a room change to the 20th, the downside only being its a smoking room. But in truth it doesn’t really smell like anything so I’m not complaining. It is a real bed and hot shower.

Now, one of the perpetual challenges to being un-homed is to find moments when you feel “normal.” Another is to not get too numb to the experiences happening around you. Getting a cheap kamaaina rate hotel room certainly has brought a little brief excitement with it. And by excitement I mean sleeping all day in between watching basic cable with reruns of Law and Order, or whatever movies are cycling through. That and taking hot showers even if you haven’t gotten all that dirty yet.

There’s even a microwave so I could actually have leftovers of something. Wow, that is a long forgotten concept.

Of course there’s always the fascination of looking out over the balcony and seeing thousands of other balconies just like yours. You wonder if each person you see is just as fascinated as I am, or if they are indifferent to the jam that is Waikiki. I easily imagine that for most of them this may be a once in a lifetime moment: they finally got to go to Hawaii and will fondly (I hope) speak of it for years to come.

For me I’m just thankful for a pause in what has been feeling like a monotony lately. Even if for a brief moment I’ve achieved a semblence of normalcy. When I walk in and out of the hotel no one is seeing someone un-homed; just another traveler on some journey. If they only knew how true that was, except in this case the journey has been a very deep and personal one.

None-the-less, today’s my Personal New Year. No resolutions for me, just some moments to relax for a bit.

Previous posts in this series:

• Anger Paralysis
• Timing Is Everything
• It’s All Relative
• Riding Heartbreak
• The Courage Needed
• Bartering Along
• Getting Swept Away… Almost
• Neglect
• Small Measures of Success
• The Interior Life
• I Miss My Bed
• My Closet Has a Flat Tire
• Hopes and Dreams
• Homeless Are People, Too
• Full Monty or Not?
• Back Seat Office
• Staying Connected
• Those Small Indignities
• Putting Your Life in Storage
• One Step Forward, One Step Back
• Exciting New Career Opportunities
• End of the Day
• Solutions Wanted
• When to Hold On, Let Go?
• Location, location, location
• Range of Motion
• Food More Than Sustenance
• Figuring It All Out Someday
• Solitude
• The Good, The Bad
• From The Heart
• Does Anyone Really See Me?
• Keeping Perspective
• Showers at the Natatorium
• Achieving Homelessness